lightning is my girl

start a new, point and shoot...

2009-06-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

... heading in a new direction,

opening a new cyber location for grey matter.
please visit me here now

merci,

xMAdMx

A CONNECTED HEART...

2009-05-17T15:21:00.000-07:00

... what a machine!

in awe of the deepest red,

of the magic pump.

have you held one in your heart and hand lately?

my virtual one,

in form of music, film, visual, web and more is alive and pounding,

on your virtual door, calling to you.

finally, the final body of work is being given a birth plan.

i apologize on behalf of life for the delay x

ooom is coming,

from me, directly to you.

xMAdMx

when in texas...

2009-03-25T16:49:00.000-07:00

... do as romans do.

this past month my bass brought me to rome and austin.
this magic month of march opened a few doors of exchange-
and it's about time!!!! man and woman, it's been too long.
my hands on, out of the box vehicle has slowed my carpet ride down,
but it has been scenic and educational.
my decision to be the mistress of my own musical destiny has broadened my expression (hence OOOM's multi layered mode of communication)
but has also required some learning curves.
what's a girl to do without a record label?
make her own and make friends with cutting edge tech pals like topspin!
what's a girl to do when the right manager has not presented him/herself? manage yourself!
and when you are invited to play scandinavia, rome and austin without a team? put your captain hat on!
in other words friends near and far- as always my fire to connect is raging,
and my skills to make the connection are improving!
i guess i've always wanted to know how you get from a to z,
and when i embarked through the looking at the top of my music ride,
i skipped a few steps, and have been making up for lost lessons.
not to mention: the exciting, ever changing scape of the music "business"-
the shifts that have been affecting the "deal" with music.
it has encouraged everyone to go out on a lim and try new things out.
this past week at sxsw music fest,
i was blown away by the open minded ways of all people.
the change and "collapse" has liberated us-
forced us into change and experimentation.
good times to be knee deep and head on in music.
i was also blessed with amazing friends
who accompanied me along the way on my busy bee week in texas:
cecil at the helm, NARDWUAR, jeff, raja, the webb sisters, mark, little radio, jason, claire, dave, phil, stacey, seb, katie larkin, two friends from mexico, 2 friends on their 4 hour lunch break, two philly pals and last but not least,
my musical trinity: chris, adam and joe with their two guitars and drums.
all of these music lovers were there with me.
all there for the right reasons and all there for each other..... pretty wicked.

(rocking red curtains at red eyed fly bloody mary party)
xMAdMx

p.s. i did have the pleasure and honor to go to the amazing world of rome earlier in the month,
to play a classy evening at a bass player festival.
they offered me my own evening to do whatever i'd like to do-
so i showed the film, played a rock show
and then discussed my love of bass with the crowd. pretty dreamy-
especially because i had enough leisure time before to visit sistina chapel,
the coliseum and much more roman wonders....
i still can not believe that 4 strings bring me to such places.
hopefully i will get to you soon....
here i am with two fountains i liked very much.

THE VIKINGS TAKE NYC

2009-03-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

"SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA"
Tony Stone's Vikings have alas landed the silver screen.
If you are in NYC please come to the Angelika film center this weekend
and explore this one of a kind raw Norse epic.
It's not everyday that a hand made,
1000 year old period piece,
dripping with black metal while exploring the pre-Columbus alt history that could've been,
hits a big screen near you and your kin- or ANYWHERE for that matter!
From my dream collaborator on OUT OF OUR MINDS-
comes THIS!
OPENS IN NYC THIS FRIDAY THE 13TH - PASS IT ON...
SEVERED WAYS will hunt you down wherever you may be!
not to mention the two 13s in a row.....

everyone listen to Danzig's "Thirteen" this day,
and visit www.1007ad.com

xMAdMx

celebrate the NATURALIST

2009-02-12T10:07:00.000-08:00

if it wasn't for open minds,
the chase for knowledge,
and explorations on ships,
i surely would not be communing with you today via virtual log.

200 years ago, a role model for all of us was born.
charles darwin was born with a hunch in the gut-
that life was more than the upper class english culture he was raised in.
at the age of twenty he boarded a ship called BEAGLE,
and sailed around the world for 5 years,
collecting fossils, writing and engaging fully with the natural world.
changed man, changed world.
a life committed to understanding the natural world,
and how man has evolved within it,
sounds like a mission to me.
the darwin naturalist mission,
inspires me to wonder, what an active explorer should be doing now.
we have sailed the sea and gone to space,
scientific studies are often now in laboratories in our minds,
not aboard ships exploring desert islands...
we have an obligation to explore unchartered territories,
but so many adventurers have come before us.....
the pressure is on- so wether you explore in song or thought,
by foot or by air....
find your ship, a partner or two, and eat it up x
i am aiming to do the same..... eyes open everyday.
some titles to ponder in honor of a man who sailed for us:
Descent of Man to Emotions
The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex
The Formation of Vegetable Mould through the Action of Worms.

xMAdMx

MAdM vs Auf der Maur

2009-02-01T13:58:00.000-08:00

dear you,
this is a cyber update.
you must forgive your rusty freckled old fashioned friend.
the web is not my most clear and instinctive home,
but it is the only way i can swim across oceans,
and fly over mountains and planes to get to you.
so the fluidity of my exchange with you is key,
but not fitted yet..... first there is the name game:

as i sit on the edge of a hopeful new year and the unveiling of my new project,
i find myself stumped by my own name. dating back to my early childhood,
and memories of learning to spell and pronounce my name,
it continues to be a regular correction i must make everywhere my name goes.
as with my first album- this has been three years in the making,
thriving on collaborations and support by endless talent and generosity of my creative folks-
so these are not "melissa auf der maur: singer songwriter solo albums"-
but these could not live under a fictional title like "orange rubber duck".
a while a ago i decided, as the captain of the projects, i would use a variation on my name...
using just my last name for my first album in all of it's germanic, patriotic-ness-
was a nod to the ancient family, the "father's of rock" who cam before us,
and amplified the HEAVY i was going for.
this new album has taken many twists and turns,
including the embracement of multiple creative outlets, and the reoccurring theme of
THE ETERNAL FEMININE HUNT FOR THE HEART.
a connected but polar opposite title was needed for this one.
luckily, my initials are MAdM,
and i often had signed my name as initials because my full one is just sooooo long.
this naturally made sense- however back into this reality,
i have been confused on how to unite the old and the new world as far as names go.
i opened xmadmx.com and myspace for the birth of the EP,
but this long established aufdermaur pages are getting lonely-
so i am addressing their concerns....
although my new project is MAdM- but i am still me.
the "x"s frame it all over the interweb, because MAdM was not available to me.
this is the last and only introspective name game essay i will write,
but i welcome any suggestions you may have. is it good to evolve and change names?
will people be confused or will people sort it out? what to do?

meanwhile, xmadmx.com is under construction, that's why it has not been updated...
a computer programming melt down occurred, but eventually this "blog" will live in there!
for now i am dancing between various places, and waving as fast as i can HELLO!

hoping 09 has been a smooth ride so far,
as well as being the year that finally gets my album out of my hands into yours.
thank you for visiting and riding the wave of the new MAdM chapter in our virtual club house-
see you out there soon! i am preparing for shows in the spring....
the bass can't wait!

xMAdMx
ooom

HOPE WITH A VIEW

2009-01-01T22:53:00.000-08:00

THE FUTURE IS HERE AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL.
i rang in the new year with a smile from ear to ear,
and shed myself of fright by the christmas lights.

the cold air and snow reflect the hope i know is there.
glaring white- almost taunting us because she KNOWS how much we need her.

i hope for us all the be able to tap into that light this year,
and to trip the fear off it's feet. we must.
as individuals and as a team.

fight the good fight, like there has never been another.
reborn into the future - freak out and enjoy the madness of this life.
put on your helmet,
whip out the wand and break open this opportunity titled:
2009

i look forward to getting my channels straight
to show you what i've made to commune with you.

love

xMAdMx

V ...

2008-11-03T17:34:00.000-08:00

VOW TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS
VERY URGENT
VICTORY.
VOLUME OF INNER CHEERS WILL RISE
VOLTS OF EMOTIONAL ELECTRICITY WILL SURGE WHEN YOU
VOTE.

MAY THE FORCE OF TRUTH AND ACTION BE WITH US ALL
TOMORROW

xMAdMx

WITCHING HOUR

2008-10-24T22:18:00.001-07:00

must warm up those rusty bones and strings-
can't think of a better way to do it:
eve of samhain,
sneak sneak spook peek,
MAdM
i am crawling out.....
xMAdMx

MAdM OOOM

2008-10-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

the sneak peeks they creep

into cracks from here to there.
beginning with photos tomorrow in NYC

my visual and musical buddy conrad,
offered me a wall in an empty space.
so more portals into ooom will hang there
from 6-9 thursday- my favorite day.
jupiter day.
come by and peek:
34 east 1st st @ 2nd ave
october 23rd
6-9

wine and eye treats

miss you....
but MORE coming sooooooooooon
ooom
xMAdMx

WALK THE EARTH THIS AUTUMN

2008-09-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

"MAN IS NOW ABLE TO FLY THROUGH THE AIR LIKE A BIRD,
HE IS ABLE TO SWIM BENEATH THE SEA LIKE A FISH,
HE IS ABLE TO BOROUGH BENEATH THE GROUND LIKE A MOLE.
NOW IF ONLY HE COULD WALK THE EARTH LIKE A MAN,
THIS WOULD BE PARADISE"
T.D.

this autumn brings many opportunities
on a personal note,
i will follow my bass to the stage for the firs time in three years.
on a north american note,
both my home countries are given the opportunity to change
bringing us back to the personal note: VOTE

on a larger scale,
mother nature will do her most romantic trick of all,
fall into her gentle white sleep.
may the trees take fire
and i hope to see you there.
merci

xMAdMx

trying to keep up with my new cyber arms......
this is the original interactive beauty beast,
but i just gave birth to www.myspace.com/xmadmx

FEEL THE BREEZE

2008-08-29T14:07:00.000-07:00

feel the need.

wow. those flags fly with determination don't they?
i guess things have to be really broken
to kick a group in the ass towards change.
hop on the wagon and hope.
bouncy bouncy we shall wake up?
blue team all stars speaking up
clearly speaking for a group in fear.

eat a banana
light a candle
talk to your neighbor
call your friends
register to vote
remind others to if you don't

back to school
looking good
believe it or not,
the sharing comes soon.
hilariously late but true....
i will be connecting with you in ether form
before the blues take over the white

xMAdMx

THE WOLF INSIDE

2008-08-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

An elder Cherokee Native American
was teaching his grandchildren about life.
He said to them,
"A fight is going on inside me...
It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves.
One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow,
regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, pride and superiority.
The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope,
sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,
friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion,
and faith.
This same fight is going on inside of you
and every other person too."
They thought about it for a minute
and then one child asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied,
"The one I feed."

OUR EMOTIONS CONTROL THE OCEANS...

xMAdMx

WOODS TO THE...

2008-07-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

... MOON MACHINE

was it the underside of ourselves,
the dreamers in the woods,
or was it the chase of machine minds?

the sun side or the mother side?
the moon side or the son?
the OTHER is the dreamer,
if there was more MOON in us-
we could bath in true light at night.

THE OTHER
THE MOTHER-
THE MOON
OOOM
coming soon

xMAdMX

in the grey

2008-06-14T13:44:00.000-07:00

there is a beauty that comes in black and white.
it is very strong.
unlike ornate beauties full of color and shapes,
it is very simple and straight forward.
it seems to speak of action more than feeling.
you can only visit there within a frame.
i want to step in,
ride that horse,
and this there ship.

hello from me to you,
this new season.
it's been slow around here-
but this season will change that.
may the heat melt the red tape~ in black and white!!!!!!

xMAdMx

04/08...

2008-04-30T15:37:00.000-07:00

... it was a big one i tell you.
it marked the 10 year anniversary of my father's death,
and the most stunning images ever captured in photographs:
COLLIDING GALAXIES IN OUTER SPACE!
i was speechless.....

opening my cyber mouth for the first time in a while,
i say this:
i want to share.
looking for the way.
my extended hand will come.
the wait creates a heavier weight on the shoulders of my imagination.
it will make me stronger.

please.
thank you.

xMAdMx

13 YEARS OF THOR

2008-02-14T15:17:00.000-08:00

13 TEARS OF LOVE

On a late afternoon, in the early summer of 1994,
I walked up St. Laurent Blvd. towards Leonard Cohen's house
near the sweet Portuguese park on Marie-Anne street.
I had a small basket in one hand
and intentions of unconditional love in the other.
Lorca, Leonard's beautiful, tattooed and mysterious daughter,
had told my best friend Steve about the batch of kittens she needed homes for.
I come from a long line of feline friendly family.
There has never been a day in any of my family's houses without a cat.
When I came into the world, my mother had a cat named "Red Fuzz"
who ultimately was training for her perfect mothering
she provides me and my brother Yves.
Cats are equal to family in our homes.
So there was a big batch of perfect fuzzies, all long haired,
some multi colored, but only one red.
Be it the ancient memories of Red Fuzz,
or my own red head identity,
there was no question that I was walking out with that red ball of fluff in my basket.
"Thor" was of course destined to be his name.
The god of thunder spent most of his first week
under my bed curled up in the basket he came in.
He never tired of that habit of sleep and retreat,
and my mother always kept a basket on the ready for him.
He had another irresistable pass time, sucking his toe.
Yes, like a child sucking his thumb,
he would get really comfortable and sooth himself by sucking his back toe.
In hind sight, I think I took him away from his mother a little too soon,
and he never gave up trying to nurse.

Within a month of adopting this ball of magic, I was asked to join the band Hole,
for their world tour in support of their latest album "Live Through This".
My decision to accept this extreme musical invitation changed my life forever.
The United States of America, and it's inspired world of alternative rock music,
became my home and I have never lived in Montreal full time again.
Leaving my rich and intimate life was dramatic.
In this over night break from my life long home of 22 years I left behind;
my then band "Tinker",
my photography degree,
my very close community of family and friends,
and of course, Thor.
As I began my new life of travel, absolute strangers and no particular home,
Thor moved in with my family.
Thor became a kind of a totem to that time and place.
He symbolizes that big break, and represented my youth that I left behind.
He was a cat of "little brains" my mother called him.
He didn't have an ounce of that independent feline aloofness, more like a puppy,
he wanted love and affection from anything, any time
(it is said that male red cats are always like that).
As he followed the action where ever it went, he had no fear.
He'd wander into the street, while flirting with dogs, cars and plants.
He was truly irresistible as a teddy bear.
People would gasp with an overload of cuteness.

Thor had more medical problems than the common cat,
probably because he was part fancy cat,
and fancy cats always have weaker genetic make ups
(rumor has it that Thor's parents may have been siblings...).
Last year while suffering from a bum problem the vet noticed his irregular heart beat,
turns out his heart was slowly falling apart.
A slow degradation of heart was in process,
threatening the usual age of 18 that cats under my mother's care live.
2008 arrived, and so did Thor's first seizure.
His heart was not pumping the blood correctly,
resulting in clotting and eventual failure.
Luckily I was visiting Montreal last week,
when the cat cardiologist explained
his heart was in such bad shape that he could more or less die any day.
Instead of risking a stroke like seizure that could be incredibly painful
and leave him paralyzed,
we decided to put him sweetly to sleep as the seizures increased.

Pet love is from another dimension of the cosmos.
All they want is love (and food) and that is what they give.

I dedicate this Valentines day,
to Thor's heart,
and to anyone who has ever loved an animal (including a human) to death.

xMAdMx

wild horse...

2008-01-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

... and me.
the beauty you see when exploring abandoned houses.

love to thee

xMAdMx

2008

2008-01-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

time time time

snow, friends, fireworks and HA HA called in the new year.
this even number of a new yearly home feels yummy.

love love love

Isis, Queen of the Throne.
a feline survivor chose a new home in my heart.
magic eyes, part wild, part alien,
in the spirit of ancient myth,
she gives all.

our lives are framed by time and love.
greetings from mine to yours

xMAdMx

introduce yourselves HERE please ...

2007-11-13T10:56:00.000-08:00

http://www.xmadmx.com/hunters.html

new info collector.
post crooked ancient world of copy and paste.
let the machine do IT.
xMAdMx

suspect.....

2007-10-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

...as you do, i have been out of the loop with you...
far too long.

yes there is a climax trying to wrap up the project,
and getting a small teaser out to you...
most of you have come into contact with xmadmx....
i promise there is FAR more.
i am onto the serious next phase:
HOW CAN I SHARE THIS WHOLE HEARTEDLY WITH YOU????
i am hatching a plan.
it will slowly unfold.
i am thankful for your patience, and perseverance.

there will be some explosive chemistry exchanges in 2008.
those of you here first (yes, you) will get entangled foremost.
i have an experimental plan of how to make this EXCHANGE.

to begin, would you please leave me your email addresses....
i know this is crooked, and i don't have a "mailing list" section,
but i'd like to start a log book of my visitors,
so you are sure to be notified when the GAMES begin.

if you can post a comment, leave your contact please.

i saw my soul hero morrissey tonight.
i cried twice,
and freaked the guy next to me when i had to share
"that was my high school yearbook quote"
during "stretch out and wait"

wow. thank you universe.
thank you fellow humans.
we have a lot to live for.
i am emerging from my creative cocoon daily.
on my way.
stay in touch.
long for more!
xMAdMx

101

2007-08-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

post #101
this intimate cyber dialogue began in winter of 2005
post my 189 shows in 2004 for my first album
it has been a long time coming for sharing beyond here.
i am itching to do soooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
i am closer to a place where i could climb out of this cave of creation,
but there are still so many grey bows to tie and red ribbons to cut through.

the tiny teaser has given you a tease........
eat that for now,
but most of all, enjoy the last days of summer
(except for you guys and gals down under!)

how fucking good does it feel to be alive?

xMAdMx

sneak peak please

2007-08-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

www.xmadmx.com

coast...

2007-07-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

...to coast, long and fun.
the west coast is the host of the most for several creative stages.
the sounds, visuals and concepts,
are living large in this cocoon of OOOM.
bursting at the weaved seams,
bleeding to tease and please.

xo

xMAdMx

WELDING...

2007-06-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

...IT TOGETHER

WELDING,
SOLDERING,
GLUING,
EDITING,
CONCEIVING,
MAKING,
PIECE BY PIECE.

COMING TOGETHER
ON MY WAY...

xMAdMx

tree tales ...

2007-05-28T08:47:00.000-07:00

... and more abstract stuff to fill the gaps.

it is true, i have spent a lot of time in the woods of abstract.
a good place for me to be,
however, i would like to frame this fantasy land with some cold hard facts.
the world of hard facts changing as it is, it is hard to pin down.
the la la land of my mind, heart, eyes and ears weaved together is quite consistent.
always there for me to pluck from.
so as much as i'd like to say "MY NEW ALBUM WILL BE OUT XXX"
i can not, because the structure side is not clear to me right now.
the positive side of this wait for the box to form,
is the more time goes by the more i create to share...
there will be a full wad to release into the world when the word "GO" finds me.

for those who come to visit me here,
i thank you for waiting.

xMAdMx

blow the candle out...

2007-05-06T22:43:00.000-07:00

... and begin.

liberation in starting new chapters.
hope in the new
lessons in the old.

i am off to the woods to make action fantasy fiction happen!
strangeways, here we come!

all the best to YOU.

xMAdMx

the birds and the bees...

2007-04-25T07:24:00.000-07:00

red robins singing at night,

bees experiencing colony collapse disorder

trouble in the web,
the fiber that keeps us together.
may our MASS PROTECTIVE INSTINCTS kick in.

hello happy happy spring friends.

xMAdMx

man, best man...

2007-04-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

...and little girl.

love, marriage and child.
it happened, it gave me life.
big love.

i stand between them,
investigating the mystery.
determined to make my way.

Father's Grave
and
Mother's Red Box

clues, coming your way,
to be yours for the keeping.

xMAdMx

sword in hand...

2007-04-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

...leads you to the promise land?

all i know is HARD core believing is the only way.
fight fight fight
push push push
laugh laugh laugh
love love love
LIVE LIVE LIVE
this spring day has delivered a huge heap of hope!
thank you

also, a brand new girl named Arrow arrived.
we are ready to show her a good time.
one day old,
dozens of hearts open.

xMAdMx

come...

2007-03-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

and gone.

the green beer day of st-patrick's and my birth has come and gone.
the first day of spring has come and gone.
the snow is on it's way out, into the earth and rivers.
in that time i loved my family, friends and cat Thor.
witnessed the passion of two leaders on the environmental crisis.
as they said....
there is a huge opportunity in this crisis
emergency + opportunity = crisis.
technology + will = solutions
and also said...
we have a moral responsibility
to protect the web of life we are part of.

before that all came and went,
i sat on a mini chair on a large frozen river,
humming a tune.

the stories and sounds are getting LOUDER.
my cut through the red tape is in process.
much, much more to share soon.
for now i send you this cyber post card.
xMAdMx

if you're a dreamer...

2007-02-21T19:54:00.000-08:00

... come in.

if you're a pretender, then come sit by my fire.

xMAdMx

LOVE...

2007-02-14T15:58:00.000-08:00

...BIRDS EVERYWHERE.

in the snow,
in the past,
in our heads,
in our beds,
in the future,
in the now,
in forever,
always together.

HAPPY WINTER VALENTINE
xMAdMx

petits mots...

2007-02-02T17:12:00.000-08:00

grand monde...

hard to imagine a little web of words could link around the world,
but so it seems to go.
so many tales to share................

our human ways are overwhelming our home
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6321351.stm
(obviously, we live like maniacs and have to change)

great music is being made by beautiful people
http://www.myspace.com/entrancerecords

oil obsession will push bears and wolves out of their homes
http://www.savebiogems.org/bears/takeaction
(you can do small things to help big causes)

wise and amazing people are leading the way to awareness
http://www.davidsuzuki.org/latestnews/dsfnews02010701.asp
( he is my hero)

there are very funny people saying very funny things!
http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/
(check out "death by black hole" man! love him)

there are cosmic collisions happening right now!
http://www.amnh.org/rose/spaceshow/cosmic/?src=e_h
(imagine the sound!)

AND SO ON AND SO ON..............................................................
endless! then it seems to eclipse into the massive view:
EXISTENCE
(love, birth, earth, space, death, LIFE! all in one big freaky mass)
how could words possibly wrap around that?!

however, i will keep sharing my petits words about a grand world,
til the day i die.

happy friday!
xMAdMx

through the grass

2007-01-13T08:42:00.000-08:00

i can see

ah the patience...
i have called upon again and again.
the gap in time and space between
you and my music demands it.

the time to be an independent music maker
has descended upon this earth whole heartedly,
and i am caught up in the red tape of a monstrous corporation.
there are far more profound problems that could be,
so i am just sitting back and letting the cards fall where they may.
watching a cold river making cuts across the land,
and dreaming up more direct ways to get my creative ideas out there...

2007 will bring new and more immediate ways to share.
computer tricks and a new way of looking at things will do it.

hello!

xMAdMx

water walk

2006-12-30T13:41:00.000-08:00

into 2007 we go,
with the good witch of the swamp as one of my guides,
she treks through the murky waters of the subconscious,
while keeping an eye out for the bright white light up above.

this may seem murky to you now,
but i will introduce you to her this coming year.

i wish you all an abundance of love and inspiration this new year

here we go ......

xMAdMx

HAUNTED

2006-12-16T07:33:00.000-08:00

i came across a very strange haunted house.
a victorian mansion with a window's walk.
someone's life left behind in mold,
poodles were bred in this rambling house,
it seems many people had lived or squatted with them.
a mysterious history wanting to be known.
i only had 20 minutes,
i would like to go back.

happy holidays to the poodles,
where are you now ?

xMAdMx

change !

2006-11-09T08:19:00.000-08:00

there is a long way to go,
to turn this trouble around,
but THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN !
even with the fraud and bullies,
some common sense has managed to shine through.

up hill battles,
and environmental nightmares still to come,
but the good in us, will TRY to overcome.

xMAdMx

x

2006-10-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

FEED ME MUSIC

2006-10-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

I EAT,
IT FILLS ME,
IT TURNS INTO SOUNDS.

FROM THE QUIET OF THE FOREST,
TO THE NOISE OF MY PAST LIFE,
I AM BUILDING A WORLD OF SOUND AND VISUALS,
TO BE SHARED IN 2007.

MAY THE AUTUMN SEASON BE FULL OF RUST COLORS,
AND AS THE WINTER WIND APPROACHES,
MAY WE BE PREPARED FOR MORE.
BUNDLED UP DETERMINED,
TO MAKE IT THERE FOR CERTAIN.
THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, THE HEART OF THE UNIVERSE....

xMAdMx

2006-10-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

stand up for light's sake !

when you're fighting for the light,
inside and out,
and into the night,
you are compelled to spread it.

i feel you,
receive you,
and always believe you.
the feminine leads me here,
to the woods and the wolf.

i am grateful, she is always here.
the protector,
the mother.

open our hearts,
and find one another.

xMAdMx

MELT

2006-09-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

MORPH

crooked, broken and crawling.
deprivation of light and love,
leads to desperate behavior.

i am blessed to always feel the light,
even in the darkest night.

i wish for universal reflectors.
every inch of this human world needs more.
we must share our light and our love,
whenever we can.
someone near you needs it.

transformation occurs.

xMAdMx

MELT

2006-09-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

getting closer...

2006-08-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

... the sounds are fuller.
the end is near.
i am craving ears.
to share,
to share,
to share,
the inner world that has developed,
since i was last "out there".

this melody is my carpet ride,
across the ocean to you, you and you.
reaching out to you through this tune,
around the globe just to get it to you.

xMAdMx

the sky...

2006-08-30T15:41:00.000-07:00

... is my ocean

split screen
dual heart
one going up stream,
the other swimming down.
oh the excitement in the oppositions !
learn learn learn learn
give it give it give it.
i wanna grow from the clashing of ways.
harmony comes quietly.

hello !

xMAdMx

beauty beast

2006-08-20T02:24:00.000-07:00

my friend steve met these sweet beasts,
adorned with horns.
magical and mystical,
they suggest the unknow.
i want to hug the old,
and worship their young.
may we all connect with the sweet beast within.

xMAdMx

hand in hand

2006-08-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

theresia auf der maur died at 101 years old on march 17th, 2004
she came to me in my dream the other night,
she was still in between the two dimensions,
she has almost reached her son.

she was a woman with a mission and a vision.
her faith was in the force, the guide, the plan.
it kept her alive longer than most.

i honor her strength and confidence.

i send love to her and my father up above.
i miss you, but feel you close.

xMAdMx

it

2006-07-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

the unknown force is in effect.
it will only send you what you can handle.
it is as simple as rising up to the force.
it is your guide to who you are,
and who you can be:
a maker of sense out of chaos,
a maker of beauty out of pain,
a maker of hope out of fear.....................

i am eternally grateful for my trust in it.

xMAdMx

Split Screen

2006-06-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

duel duel :
a challenge between two sides

her - him
sleep - awake
hope - fear
heaven - hell
sail - sink
bravery - laziness
receive - conceive
interior - exterior
hold - have
make - take
harmony - dissonance
dual -duel

dual dual :
two of the same kind

ALL is one

xMAdMx

live ...

2006-06-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

... and learn.

xMAdMx

really....

2006-05-13T11:21:00.000-07:00

... we are making a record up here in the north.

my canadian pals and i are rolling into the deep spring,
with tunes wrapped around our wrists,
tones falling out of the wood work,
and our feet marching to the romantic rock drum inside !

french kiss studios is the place to be,
for a girl like me,
with JZ at the helm, man handling the knobs, buttons and beer ...

xMAdMx

by the river,

2006-05-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

summer is comin'

water...

2006-04-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

... falls

i visited a three tear water fall on easter monday.
snuck behind the fall ... true beauty.

i am back in music land,
creating odes to the smiths and danzig,
as always.

dig into every one of your minutes.

xMAdMx

the forest .....

2006-04-03T15:55:00.000-07:00

... the book.

for my day of birth i went to the woods.
in there i found beauty and eternity.
i dreamt of a haunted owl and human queens.
i came across a book filled of myth and wisdom.
all of these things are filling the empty spaces of my album....
it is coming,
rolling,
loading,
roaming,
filling,
noisy and hopeful.

the slow pace has payed off.

more climbing to go,
but the light is in sight.

"she" is immortal
and heading towards the universal heart.

xMAdMx

input...

2006-03-15T17:15:00.000-08:00

...output

i have been making this new album.
although there is no noise of it out there yet,
i swear it is brewing.
i have been patient with the sounds inside.
not rushing.......but now there is a rush of clarity.
straight to the heart,
up to the head,
and out of my fingers and mouth.
in the next three months,
i am gonna finish what i started,
one year ago, alone in the snow,
on my loving 4-track.

the vision and mission statement,
has made itself known now.

i am so eager to share......
thank you for your patient ears.....

xMAdMx

the land...

2006-02-24T10:43:00.000-08:00

... our map

as we follow time,
and let our hearts lead us,
we scale the land.

on our way,
heading fast,
we will come to you.

the golden egg,
the healing light,
the beautiful conclusion.

the aches and pains,
carry us there,
like ships that set sail.

I feel something good in the air of timing,
and climbing right now,
i hope you do too.

xMAdMx

HAPPY HEART DAY

2006-02-14T16:57:00.000-08:00

I WISH YOU ALL THE LOVE THAT YOU CAN GIVE!
MAY WE FILL OUR HEARTS TO THE BRIM,
GIVE, LIVE, GIVE.

A TOAST TO THE HIGHEST POWER
LOVE!
XMADMX

A DIALOGUE...

2006-02-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

dear david,
what is happening right now?
why does it all seem so upside down?

i wanted to share my simple and personal post i made on my site today.
as always, when i'm pondering the future, i think of you.
http://lightningismygirl.blogspot.com/

i hope all is better than great, with work and play.
melissa

RESPONSE:

Oh Melissa, these are dire times. Just look at Canada after heroically keeping
Kyoto on target and resisting the pressure from the US to discard Kyoto, we
elected a guy who says he doesn't believe in meeting the Kyoto target and wants
to come under the US umbrella.

We have already begun an experiment with our home and nothing we do now can
reverse what we've put into the atmosphere. The challenge is to see whether we
can at least stop adding to what we've already done. I am afraid there is a lot
of methane which is a much more potent greenhouse gas frozen in the permafrost.
Now that the permafrost is melting, there will be a huge boost in methane
released which will accelerate the warming. We are in for tough times.

I just gave a talk in the US and told them that I was in the US when the Soviets
launched Sputnik in 1957. In the two years that followed, the US failed
miserably to get their own rocket into orbit while the Soviets put up the first
animal, man, crew, woman. We realized how advanced they were in science, math,
engineering and medicine. The US didn't moan that it cost too much to catch up,
they decided immediately they had to beat the Russians to the moon, poured
money, people, resources into it and look what happened. Not only did they beat
the Russians, it spawned all of the telecommunications revolution and even
today, 40 years later, when Nobel prizes are announced, the Americans win most
of them. So it's shocking to me when Americans look at climate change and
immediately say it will cost too much, rather than taking it on as a challenge
AND opportunity!

I'm thrilled to see that Jimmy Carter has put out a book warning about what's happening.
The damned media haven't been doing their work either, giving Bush a free ride, the way
Harper got an easy time of it.

Gotta stop. You didn't want a diatribe from me. Stay in touch. David

dear...

2006-02-04T13:50:00.000-08:00

...answer maker,

what is happening?
i am not related to chicken little,
i am just confused and concerned.

it is february in montreal canada,
it is above the freezing mark.
this is unheard of,
it should be 20 below zero right now.

bears are coming out of hibernation early,
birds don't know which way to go,
whales are swimming to Big Ben,
and a generation of baby seals,
normally born on ice (but there is none),
were being raised on land instead
but swept away by a strange storm.

it is no coincidence that the Climate Control Conference,
was just in montreal and created LOUD noises.

did we really miss the deadline to fix the problem?
is there no turning back, just a strange future?
of course there is always slowing down,
and taking responsibility for our own actions.
each individual informed on what they can do.
taking the baby steps to make a difference,
and creating awareness.
(go to dr. suzuki's site,
and take the suzuki challenge)

when one of president bush's reps was asked:
should the american people be changing their way of life?
he said "NO!" that the way we live is the AMERICAN WAY.
THE PRESIDENT SAYS IT IS AMERICA'S RIGHT TO DO SO.
protect our "freedom"....uhh huh.
OUCH
that is the most;
irresponsible,
infuriating,
selfish,
short sighted,
obnoxious,
irrational
answer.
CAN'T THEY EVEN FAKE THAT THEY CARE???

i look to scientists and leaders like david suzuki,
to lead the way through this unknown future.

the good hearts and minds of the world,
will do their best,
and make the best of this situation.

the beauty of love and music will survive all.
nothing and no one can take away our truth.
what is really important is untouchable,
it lives inside us and our relationships.

i am sad thinking of the confused animals out there,
but i also know that we too are one of those confused species.

xMAdMx

election time...

2006-01-20T09:15:00.000-08:00

... in canada.

it is that time in this country.
after living in the u.s. for the past decade,
and witnessing two of the most crucial elections there,
i am about to witness the same thing here.

this liberal country is looking straight into conservative eyes.
we are facing a potentially very scary turning point in this country.
the uber right, money people are seducing our fellow canadians.
???!!!!!!!!!!!

all they talk about is money and tax cuts,
a manipulative move,
knowing that 99 % of the population is hurting for cash.

social services,
health care,
education,
support of arts and culture,
is what makes this country so beautiful and progressive.
those things will be the first things to go in the faux $ utopia.

we need to stop them from getting in.
we need to exercise our right to VOTE !!!!
please please please vote on monday,
or remind your canadian friends and family to vote.
this is as crucial as the last u.s. election.

pass it on......

xmelissax

( a reminder of our close ties to england,
this is the queens personal canadian flag !!!!)

blogger to....

2006-01-04T15:51:00.000-08:00

... blogger !

we really spend creative research time on line......
it still amazes me !!!
why is it so satisfying to know,
that others are searching the tiny web pages of the world,
to connect ?
how is this going to change the way we relate,
long-term ?
i know it is part of our natural evolution,
so i am not afraid,
but it is strange.
although i still write an old fashioned letter from time to time,
and use phones, cars, planes and my feet....
i do so much here.
as do you.
reading your posts is like fun science / social research.
watching life go by in this time zone is interesting,
that is why i started this thing........
this interaction with "you"
out there,
anywhere,
everywhere,
anytime,
all the time !!!!!!!

happy 2006.
thanks to steve,
my joy on the eve of,
was captured up above.

may we all learn, watch and feel in maximum capacity !!!!

dig for the truth inside,
with shovels or guitars!

xMAdMx

winter...

2005-12-31T13:21:00.000-08:00

...wonderland 2006 !!!!

it is coming !!!
a new year for new adventure !!!

alot has happend in the last while,
there was a huge climate change conference in montreal
(more to share about that later)
some christmas mania,
family, friends, food, fun,
music, music, music
and silly sleep ......

i hope you have all been blessed with some of your favorite things,
and at the very least lots of rest and music.

the northern winter hibernation mode is in full effect,
so i will be keeping warm and focused.

i wish you all the best in:
love, music and health !

xMAdMx

tea time.....

2005-12-04T22:03:00.000-08:00

...stories.

london has come and gone from my winter week,
back in the north east of the americas,
climate change is happening,
and so is a major conference about it.

i will be back soon,
with cyber stories from a world crisis,
a joyful album in the making,
and the snowy recap of a good year going,
and soon to be gone........

xMAdMx

friends......

2005-11-23T18:42:00.000-08:00

....are the best of the best kind of love.

my friend clea took this respect in the sky photo.
she knew i'd like it,
i do very much.

earlier this autumn,
i was invited to the opera,
by my friend rufus.
we are teen-hood friends,
and i love him dearly.
on our nyc cab ride uptown,
i shot some photos of our friendship.
i was wearing a shinny burgundy dress,
he, a lovely grey suit.

there we have it,
my ode to friendship cyber journal update.

i get to hop over to london next week,
see my sweet friend rufus,
and some more of my teen-hood best friends:
alice and fred.

thank you lord of friendship for this gift.
effort-less unconditional love.
hug a friend today !

xMAdMx

reflections in .....

2005-11-13T20:15:00.000-08:00

...knives

red wine is nice

xMAdMx

HOLY BABY....

2005-11-02T19:28:00.000-08:00

PORCUPINES !!!!

TALK ABOUT OUT OF THIS WORLD STUFF,
FEAST YOUR EYES ON THESE BEAUTIES!

THE MAGIC OF NEW BORN LIFE !
LET'S CELEBRATE !

XMAdMX

saturn's moon....

2005-10-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

....dione

thanks to "astronomy photo of the day",
and my magical friend elisa aka "hungerworld",
i enjoyed a photo of another dimension today.

these images, and places,
are a comfort to me.
although i will never be able to see them,
or feel them under my feet,
just knowing the unknown is out there,
makes it all feel big, weird, and right.

i was on the hunt for a melody this week,
and i think i found it.

i also was in need for some lessons,
and i am getting those too !

to be shared soon.

all the best in health, family and music !

XMAdMX

my eyes and mouth......

2005-10-10T13:02:00.000-07:00

......are wide open

it is the autumn now,
and i am still in the midst of it.
hunting for my sounds, words, melodies and heart.

great three days in the studio this week,
with great friends and players.
really inspiring,
the difference between being alone inside the music,
and sharing it on the outside with trusted others,
is HUGE !!!

i need to learn,
i want to evolve,
i will connect with my heart.

just so you know,
i am slowly,
but surely,
doing my best !

thanks for being patient and checking in !

XMAdMX

amazing celebration of music and culture in montreal this weekend!

2005-09-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

click on the flyer below for more info

sharks and donkeys

2005-09-20T15:30:00.000-07:00

since we last connected in this cyber universe,
i met a stuffed shark,

i starred into a warped world of floods and heart ache,
felt a lot of tears on a race out of my eyes,
and best of all.....

made friends with a sweet teenage donkey !!!!!!

cheers to a full autumn season

xMAdMX

a bag of puff....

2005-08-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

....as long as my arm.

silly things are fun, however useless.
i found a long bag of yellow puff,
supposedly eatable, however i didn't like the taste,
but it made me giggle.

i rode around with it on my bike a bit,
carried it over my shoulder like a weapon,
then the fun was done.

it was raining today,
one of my best friends with a cute blond baby,
came to stay with me today.
silly baby noises and fun are here for the weekend.
mini things are fun too!

the fall is coming! the fall is coming!

xMAdMx

taiwan typhoon trip take two

2005-08-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

so, we arrived at the taipei airport.
after a smooth and easy 32 hour travel day;
3 flights
3 bad meals
3 bad movies.

"a typhoon is coming"
said our local host on the way to the hotel.

"again?!"
yes, two typhoons in one attempt of a festival,
but this time we had already arrived,
no turning back,
wait, watch the rain,
and hope to do something musical while there.

this annual summer festival takes place on the beach,
the side of the island that was hit by these two typhoons,
the stage was swallowed by the lady of the sea, twice.

we were basically stuck in a hyatt hotel,
eating a free unlimited breakfast buffet,
and hoping to play.

all of the bands involved;
black rebel motorcycle club,
boom boom satellites (japan)
vincent gallo
baseball (australia)
and us,
really wanted to play!
it was crazy to have travelled around the world,
and not get to share our sounds.....

so the night of the typhoon,
while the city was officially closed for business,
and the government suggests you stay indoors,
we played the one and only tiny rock club in taiwan.
the wall (capacity 200) was the place of our late typhoon celebration.

it was a fantastic show,
the crowd was great, starving for rock!!
all the bands gave their best,
brmc finished up the show at 5:30 am....
it was a wild trip,
strange indeed....

xMAdMx

taiwan...

2005-07-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

...take two.

buckle up stevie!
off we go!
we get to discover taiwan after all !
they pulled through the super typhoon,
and they are ready to celebrate with music !
on august 5th we will be rocking on a beach.
first show in 2005.
i can't wait to play,
we will be trying out one new song....
so exciting to imagine next year,
playing all new songs..........

i hope the late summer season it treating you all well,
can you believe back to school time is almost here ?????

xMAdMx

typhoon in...

2005-07-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

... taiwan.

we didn't get on the plane today,
the beach we were to perform on,
has disappeared.
this super typhoon in is the worst in 5 years.

i hope the country pulls though safely.

the show may be re-scheduled,
i still look forward to discovering taiwan one day.

mother nature sure is acting up lately...
...enjoy yourselves.

xMAdMx

tie one on in...

2005-07-12T14:57:00.000-07:00

... taiwan !

as most of you probably know,
my favorite thing about my life in music
(other than the music)
is the discovery of new places,
and connecting with new faces,
through our love of sounds!!!

i am so lucky to have been invited to play in taiwan!

once upon a time,
taiwan was a small island deprived of rock music,
or in fact any alternative to extreme POP,
until a bunch of local music lovers,
put together a festival,
that, with help of the government,
would bring musical "alternatives"
to the young people of taiwan!!!
it has been happening for a few years now,
and the local music scene has really picked up ever since!
so thanks to james chen and his partners,
the sounds of
cat power,
dirty three,
and andrew w,k,
have been brought to their shores.
this time around (next week!)
i will lucky enough to meet their shores,
and play a FREE out door festival,
on the beach,
with black rebel motorcycle club
and the great PEACHES !!!
i am so excited to discover a new country,
and their love of music.

as for the rest of you international lovers of sound,
i am simply waiting to be invited to play ;
czech republic,
brazil,
turkey,
argentina,
poland,
iceland,
new zealand,
china,
greece,
mexico,
peru,
cuba,
ukraine,
croatia,
and many other places
i dream of flying to on my magic music carpet......
i will try before i die!

i haven't played a show in 7 months,
and i am just throwing together a one off show
comprised of my montreal pals:
steve and julien of course,
my long time musical pal and team player;
jordon zadorozny,
the lovely lady of moufette;
ariel engle (steve's honey bunny)
and good old barry tinker thomas
(to help us with the knobs and such!)

this will most likely be my only show of 2005,
as i will be recording all fall,
and preparing to get back on the road,
at the top of 2006 .

i will come back with stories
and reports from this trip!

hope the summer fun
is keeping you out of trouble,
and in a love bubble!

be good,

xMAdMx

summer funnin'...

2005-06-26T12:08:00.000-07:00

...in mauve sunset lighting.

xMAdMx

( steve and i rode the ferris wheel yesterday )

this isn't a rock tour...

2005-06-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

...but it sure is rocky.

big mountains,
big love for my mum.
i am visiting my mother,
she is working on words in the mountains.
beautiful.

i was in the studio last week tracking drums for 2 songs,
it will be a slow but sweet process over the summer and autumn.

we are half way through 2005,
i hope it has been good for you so far.
it has been very new and special for me,
i am happy.

quiet times off tour....
restful and hopeful.

i am going to eat a big steak tonight.
bon appetit!

xMAdMx

moving...

2005-06-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

...images.

i threw a bunch of my tour video footage together,
and put a sweet little memory lane piece together....
i love the road, and miss the movement,
but i have to admit being still and breathing new songs,
is making me incredibly happy!
so until my sounds and the road meet again,
please visit my friends website........
click on the "rockumentary" section:
http://www.handsblue.com/way/

xMAdMx

grow...

2005-06-06T17:02:00.000-07:00

...grow, grow.

growing time around here.
the blossoming things are flooring me with their beauty!
new, green and lush,
open hearted mush.
breath taking, tear jerking...........
lots of new,
but i still use my old tascam 4-track recorder.

our international cyber world is lovely.
merci
xMAdMx

real....

2005-05-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

...receiver.

real:
1. existent as a thing, state, or quality;
having actuality; as, real events.
2. genuine, not artificial, counterfeit, or factitious.
3. representing reality; corresponding to what is; true.

true (to me) :
my stomach craves watercress.
my heart longs for idealistic romantic love.
my mind searches for amazing human life stories.
my creative side constructs things from feelings.
my imagination creates stories from unknown sources.
life is magical.

receiver:
1. one who receives in any manner; hence,
variously, a catcher, porter etc...
2. that which receives; a receptacle.
3. radio & television, a receiving set.

i speak in abstract terms,
it is true.
i find a lot of meaning in many things,
from the timing in which the street lights change,
to songs written by people i will never know.

magic:
1. the art which claims to or is believed to produce effects
by the assistance of supernatural beings or by a mastery
of secret forces in nature.
2. the power brought into play by magic;
hence, any seemingly occult power.

magical:
1. seemingly requiring more than human power
2. startling in performance,
3. enchanting.

i believe in magic,
some would say it is not "real",
but it plays a big part in my life.
i have seen it, felt it, lived it.

antenna:
1. a feeler, a horn of an insect.
2. a movable, segmented organ of sensation on the head of insects.
3. the portion of a radio station or receiving set,
for radiating waves into space or receiving them from space.

metaphorically speaking,
we all have antennas.

we are all capable or receiving different frequencies.
adjust our "antennas" to tune into many types of signals.

it depends what you choose to focus on,
believe in,
follow.

then there is the hard reality of life:
it happens to you.
be it mystical or earthly,
it is happening,
while we receive,
believe
and perceive what we will.

while we have no choice to accept what we are dealt,
life is what we make of it.

life is but a dream,
i believe.

enjoy it.

while i blah blah on my blog about words and notions i enjoy,
i am still writing my new songs,
and preparing for some recording this summer.

i would like to get it out quick,
although there are many boring details to schedule and arrange,
so it won't be out too soon,
but i will continue to tell stories,
and hopefully soon, share some fun studio footage.

i hope you are enjoying this nice time,
and finding good music to listen too!

xMAdMx

we can not know it...

2005-05-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

... or feel it, untill we find it.

you know that theory that you can only see what you know ?
that our minds can only conceive of what we have already found,
and that we are blind to the unknown until it has been discovered.
for example the universe being infinite,
the finding of the new world by the explorers,
or the globe turning out to be round and not flat.....
these are the types of mind blowing things
that have been discovered by our human race,
that could have never been conceived of until they were discovered.

2005 has presented some profound new things to me,
i am so grateful and in awe.
things i didn't know could exist,
i didn't doubt they existed, i just really had not been able to imagine them...

love and music,
always the things to blow my mind.
halle-fucking-lujah

love and music to you all!
the infinite wonders of our world.

xMAdMx

i found magic....

2005-04-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

...in iceland.

wow.
the land of:
vikings,
volcanoes,
special horses,
amazing painters,
men of the sea,
sculpture gardens,
dried fish and shark,
late nights,
early sunrise,
coffee wagon,
the blue lagoon,
new friends
and true blue isolation,
has captured my heart eternally.

i am so lucky to have visited such a place
and be hosted as i was.
enough inspiration to keep me going for quite a while.
fuel to live life fully
and search for truth in beauty and the unknown.

thank you,
fannar,
arni,
minus,
einar,
odd,
dead,
hafsteinn,
and of course, beckles.

the ocean stone has been found,
and it now lives in my heart.

meanwhile back on planet earth...
i hope the spring is nurturing you all well,
and providing you with many new adventures inside and out.

the music is growing bigger and louder inside,
i will soon be in the studio......
can't wait!

xMAdMx

people cannot stand...

2005-04-17T09:25:00.000-07:00

...too much reality.

i recently had the pleasure to see doctor david suzuki give a talk.
this scientist, environmentalist, humanitarian, peace maker,
enlightened us with basic truths and reality.
he reminded us how disconnected
we have become from the land in the last 100 years.
what a dangerous shame that is,
because we can find all the answers in nature.

simultaneously to this disconnect, and a direct result of it,
a massive energy crisis is creeping into our modern world,
right now, as i type and you read.

so as we walk blindly into our ipods and concerns for the economy,
life as we know it will be slowly but drastically changing.
as scientists and environmentalist are facing this scary news,
the media is not covering it,
because it is BAD NEWS.
it is not gonna make people feel as good about themselves as say,
the tragic lives of a couple of blonds or wackos.

so was i ever happy to discover,
shortly after this eye opening talk of suzuki's,
an article in rolling stone magazine,
expressing the exact same things.
good for this music magazine,
to be covering the real news of the world.

as we enter the 21st century,
we are facing mighty changes and challenges.
in 20-30 years the supposed "comforts" we have grown used to,
will be escaping us.

the bad news is we must start facing and preparing for this now.
the good news is love and the wonder of the human spirit is eternal.

please check out the " slow emergency",
the link is in my " i like things...' column.

oh life.......
xMAdMx

7 years today...

2005-04-07T02:22:00.000-07:00

...my father faced his end.

nick was one of the most lively people i will ever know.
his love of adventure,
newspapers,
history,
classical music at high volumes on sunday morning,
bar stools,
alleyway short cuts,
underground tunnel warm cuts,
taxi rides,
donald duck,
bar buddies,
fedora hats,
silly ties,
naps,
sctv,
belly laughs,
young people,
needy people,
funny people,
serious people,
and me,
sits inside my heart everyday,
to remind me of my father's beautiful ways of seeing life and being alive.

holding his hand to his end
was the most life altering thing that has ever happened to me.
i thank him for this gift,
and everything he passed on to me through good times, swiss blood and undying love.

i love you more than ever nick,
i miss you today,
and everyday.

love to all the fathers of the world,
from my blog to you.

xMAdMx

thursday is...

2005-03-17T02:22:00.000-08:00

...jupiter day.

it is thursday,
it is the 17th,
sweet st patty's day.
red hair, irish blood, sentimental heart.

top of the morning to all the fishes out there,
the cycle ends with the depth of the ocean and begins with the heat of fire.
the contrast makes life a blast.

w.p.c., my musical brother of sorts,
was born today too.
a toast to his songs is in order,
turn it up.

spring is promising us a lovely new year.
thank goodness for the infinite possibilities.

i am deep into audio options in the studio,
the preliminary sketches are coming to be.
great way to spend today.

on this day last year my 100 year old inspiration,
theresia auf der maur,
left this planet.
i feel her force more then ever,
i will eat an apple for her today,
and i wish her all the cabbage in heaven!

thank you life!

xMAdMx

march on...

2005-03-05T17:06:00.000-08:00

... to the water.

is spring on her way yet?
she always brings sweet things.
she will offer and i am eager.

my brother and i spent time by the ocean.
cold and lovely.

the songs are being written and nurtured.
red wine is fun,
and i am officially recharged.
ready to emerge out of my hibernation,
and start phase 2 of album 2.

as i am trying to maximize the potential of this here blog,
i have created a new world:
multimediamania
in this corner there will be:
video fun
sounds
and photos
by my friends and i.

i finally bought a digital camera,
my film will always be closest to my heart and finger tips,
but i will be experimenting
and TRYING to post 'em.

stevie durand's mini epic:
"telephone gents"
will be christening this corner soon.

i hope you are hope filled.
xMAdMx

sharing.....

2005-02-19T09:04:00.000-08:00

.....by way of electricity.

i like things, you like things.
i have added a new element to this here blog.
links to things that make me happy and feed my brain.
i hope you discover something new.
february is still with us......
enjoy.
xMAdMx
(the new sound addition is a loop of an experimental 4-track piece.
i made it years ago. it is called "firecrasher")

a heart full of....

2005-02-13T10:32:00.000-08:00

hope and blood.

what the heck is Valentines Day anyway?
.... and what about that mystery?

LOVE:

Unconditional.
The love that every baby that is born should be granted.
The love a good mother can't help but provide, it is her instinct, her gut, her truth.
Nurturing and accepting.
Love over flowing with forgiveness.
Too often a child is denied that love, and that child grows up longing and looking for it.
May they find it through friends, and romantic love.....

Friend.
The kind of love that exists between good friends is one of the most precious of them all.
FUN!!! It is light, and often effortless.
Non judgmental, supportive and we want the best for that person,
without taking it personally if they fail.
We accept each other for who we are, cheering each other on,
and letting each other fall when we must, and helping each other back up.
Friends, are our true life companions.

Sibling.
Somewhere in between unconditional and friend. what a joy!

Romantic Love.
The one with unjust pressure.
The expectations of a soul mate and the ecstasy of romance,
as well as the completion of your other half.
That makes it difficult to be the imperfect humans we are.
(Especially the "other half" bit;
We are born alone onto this earth, and we must be happy like that.
Willing to take responsibility for everything to make ourselves happy and fulfilled!)
May we consider every love, of any kind that comes into our life, as a BONUS!
If you are fortunate to find that magic with someone;
the chemistry, the timing, the place, the unexplainable,
then you must be willing to work your ass off to keep it.
The little things, the big things, we owe it our hard work. Don't give up!!!!
This is when the lesson of unconditional love comes in.
The most crucial thing is;
we must love and accept each other for our worst qualities as well as our best.
We must be willing to admit to our weak sides, and WANT to change them......
and try to, with the nonjudgmental support of our partners romantic, unconditional love and friendship.
At it's best, it is all forms of love rapped up in one union.

Happy February 14th 2005!
Let's make it a celebration of ALL FORMS of love!

xMAdMx

oh, life is...

2005-02-05T19:19:00.000-08:00

a bowl of wonders.
it is amazing to try and fathom the evolution, growth, progression, digression and change this little planet has gone through.
let alone our tiny human existence.
our lives are but a blink of an eye in the big picture,
but we will always be a part of this planet.
in spirit and ashes.
it is really important to not be afraid, and to accept everything.
hard to do, but necessary for us to enjoy our sweet life.

i have spent a few too many days alone,
and i am talking in the fluffy silly abstract to cyber ears.
i simply felt it was time for an update!

the plumbing is fixed!!!
back in my home, and back to work,
i had a break through song day.
me, my bass and gibson sg,
came up with something that put a huge smile on my face,
tear in my eye and jump in my foot.
really, i am very happy today.
on my sweet 10 year old 4-track recorder i made a sketch of the song.
even in it's smallness i can hear it big and complete. happy happy.
there are many other sketches from this week, but this one is special

i have to say, this cyber communication is rather strange.
it is all so new to our social dynamic,
first there were cell phones and faxes,
now there is talking to strangers over wires and glowing screens.
we evolve with technology, so somehow this makes sense.
i know i sound like a nerdy grandma musing over this, but it is weird.
this journal is an experiment to me,
as i blab to you,
i am trying to incorporate the cyber world into my real world.
i will find the connection eventually,
in the mean time i will tell little stories.

i see that you have been visiting,
and reading this little window into my times.
our life reflects other lives.
we are mirrors for each other.
in watching others, we see ourselves.
that's why we all love music so much.
thank you for visiting.

i am happy to see the visitors from far away countries!
so amazing, that we connect here...
and some of you have never seen snow!!!!
crazy, i have had so much snow in my life.
the snow salutes you,
and i like life.

xMAdMx

blame the plumbing!

2005-01-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

blizzards are weird. they can snow you in, or snow you out.
they are beautiful, white and windy.
the blizzard of 2005 broke my plumbing.
frozen, explosion, then evacuation.
just as i was getting the wires hooked up and neck of my guitar cozy in my hand... my system broke down.
so a brief visit to nyc was called for, while the handy irish plumber took control of my home.
i went to the MOMA yesterday and saw a lot of art.
wonderful klimpt sketches, architectural theories and lots of cindy sherman photos.
arts, culture and friends in nyc. fine with me,
but the plumbing made me do it!

xMAdMx

snow blind

2005-01-23T09:17:00.000-08:00

my oh my.... winter wonderland.
had i gratuated to a digital camera i would show you the real thing.....
"blizzard 2005" they are repeating.
"go get candles! batteries! water!" they warn.
"do not go outside"
60 miles an hour winds.
hurricane force.
snow drifts, 8 feet high.
i got out last night just in time to the stop and shop........
now i am snowed-in to my home.
the neighbors are loosing power one by one,
while mine is still here i am cooking and blogging.
then it will be accoustic guitar and reading by cande light.

i am snow blind,
and it looks beautiful!

xMAdMx

(i got to get a digital camera for the next blizzard!)

new journal world

2005-01-21T13:23:00.000-08:00

me and a headless horse. take a nap as yelena snaps..........

new world journal 2

2005-01-21T13:05:00.000-08:00

as i open my mind and spirit to the new technology of the world, i am talking twice today.
the north-east is fluffy white and crisp. i am happy to sit in my quiet here.
i ate half a pizza and watched "adam's rib".
i dream of katharine hepburns life a lot lately. her life holds a key to my deep dream.
tell your mother you love her,
and may we all learn to love like a mother.
....xMAdMx

The lovely snowy North East

2005-01-20T12:57:00.000-08:00

Happy Dr. King Week!!!!
Welcome back from the holidays and welcome to your new year.

I have been relaxing a lot since I got off tour....time for reading and viewing inspiring books and films. I got a chance to see an amazing PBS documentary on Martin Luther King Jr., and I was so moved. What a great holiday for this country to celebrate, it may be the only one I really feel inspired by (other than new years! I love new years!! I had such a fun time with my friends and brother in London!!!) Anyhow, if you get a chance to read up, or better yet view some footage (his speeches are beautiful) of Dr. King's life and wisdom, you will be reminded of how much the world needs him more than ever now. We need wise, brilliant and peaceful leaders like him to guide us and show us right now!!! Let's hope for them to come. In the meantime we will try our best to feed our minds and spirit and be hopeful.

I have just sunk into my hibernation. Quiet time and writing mode here I go.....

So, you'll be hearing from me more now that I am gonna sit in one place for a bit.

Enjoy the winter for those in the northeast and midwest...can you believe this snow???????!

it is sooo beautiful!!
xMAdMx

planet earth

2004-12-10T12:56:00.000-08:00

well, this touring year is over.
it has been an amazing year!

some of the highlights, which some of you may have shared with me were:
the first tour back in january, which was my very first tour of my very first album, european opening for the great perfect circle!!!! our first and only headlining gig of europe was phenomenal, the album had only been out a month or two and the turn outs and enthusiasm were incredible !! thank you all for coming! (and i am sorry we didn't make it to portugal ! one of my favorite countries in the world!!!! next year!)

my oh my the curiosa tour, the most romantic tour of the decade! dare to be romantic is what i say, and everyone on that tour does! wow, the euro summer festivals, and my decade reading festival anniversary! then their was the sweet hearts of the detroit brothers and sisters, the von bondies! and last but not least, the beauty of the finns of h.i.m.. which i believe to have been one of the most compatible musical unions of the year. that balance between heavy and romantic, strong et vulnerable, love, but metal. what a way to end the year. thank you everyone who made this possible and shared these moments with us.

now it feels like a free fall, no show to play, no band as my structure, just my unknown future.

i am most excited about getting working on my new material.
i have been feeling inspired in my brain as of late.
lot's of lyric writing.
in the making of the last album, my biggest concern was to exercise my musicianship. my tools of choice were; bass and guitar and collaboration with the other musicians. for this next one, i am eager to expand in the areas i was avoiding last time; brain, lyrics and vocal experimentation.

i speak of following my gut a lot, which i do with pride and joy, but this time i will let my brain do some translating, for it to not be so abstract and more precise.

what i have learned in this last year, through touring these songs for the first time, is i am there to communicate, not only with the performance and sounds, but with words and my ideas.

by watching people in the audience and speaking to those after the show, the fire to connect has grown. as i have said many times, music is the great connector. it has a beautiful power to bring people together. so we are, and so our music will evolve and the message expand.

so this winter i will hibernate, and build sounds and atmospheres around these ideas i have. where as in the past, i would build ideas around sounds.

i wish you all happy holidays, and most of all a lot of hope for our new year.
2005, coming for us. full of opportunity and possibilities.
hope for the best, in love and health.

thank you for all your support in the past amazing year.
i made these sounds to share, and now i am.
thank you for listening.
xMAdMx

Los Angeles

2004-12-01T12:56:00.000-08:00

I am so disappointed that the San Francisco show was cancelled. I love that city, but because it is not our tour, I couldn't rearrange anything. H.I.M., like us, have been on tour for a year, and their singer, Ville, lost his voice, so he had to cancel.

Hopefully he is all rested for the L.A. final shows. I am really excited about these 2 shows. Not only are they the last days to celebrate with our new Finnish friends, but they are our last last two shows of the year, and of this album. A change of pace is coming for me, from touring and connecting with the outside, to returning inside and writing my next album. Wow. New and exciting adventure, I have never written my second album before... but first I must play my last 2 shows of my first album before, something else I have never done before.

Thank you Los Angeles friends for coming out in the next few nights.

It has been an amazing year. I am so happy that I got to share it, through my music, with so many nice and enthusiastic music lovers...

One month left until the turning of a new year! I love new years.

With it, I always feel hope, and most of all the excitement for the unknown future to come... yahoo!! Music, love, friends, knowledge, food, challenge, adventure, confusion, freakiness, and much much more.

Hope you are all well.

xMAdMx

Reporting to you from the ultimate Heavy Romantic Love Metal tour

2004-11-20T12:55:00.000-08:00

We are into week 2 of the H.I.M - Monster Magnet - Auf der Maur tour, and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! The big celebration started day 2 of the tour in Philadelphia! There was some real living life to its fullest times with H.I.M and the BAM/ Bloodhound Gang types. Late night, lot's of laughs, patient parents, a crazy house with a skate ramp driveway and plenty of Heartagrams to go around. The Philly meets Finland connection is an odd combo, and somehow I connected with both these camps separately in the past year, so in addition to that unlikely pairing, count me in! The Canadian girl is in!!!! Next, two nights at Irving Plaza in NYC came and went, some chaos there, but we made it through with smiles and dancing.

Pittsburgh, the Iron City, home Andy Warhol and a real deal rock town with cool bridges, was last night, I met lots of new ears that discovered my sounds last night. We hadnÕt played Philly proper yet. So friends were made there. Now we are off to the original Rock city, Detroit! We have had the pleasure to play there 3 or more times this year! Every time makes me happy.

Mid West is here. and we played the best show of the tour, so far, in Chicago. One of my musical spiritual homes. The people there were so supportive and wonderful and the beautiful Riviera theatre looked and sounded great! I love Chicago and The Pumpkins........... Next begin to head West................ The rest is set in the west....Let me tell you about the phenomenon from Finland called H.I.M; to begin with they are wonderful people. So gracious and enthusiastic to have us in their world. Real music lovers and hailing from northern isolation. Which in addition to their viking nature gives them a slightly out of this world glow. Which is reflected in there dedicated and devoted fan base. I have not seen anything like it before. I saw glimpses when touring with nine inch nails and Marilyn Manson in the 90's, the romanticism and gothic intensity, but those bands were huge! and every one and their mother had heard of them. H.I.M. are huge in europe, but have close to no support here from radio or magazines. What they do have is the hypnotic symbol as a logo; the Heartagram, (part heart part pentagram, reflecting the duality and ultimate truth in life; heaven and hell together forever), a wild skater and avid supporter called BAM with his own TV show, heavy riffs combined with heavy love songs and a whole lot of LOVE METAL to pass around. This has inspired people across the country to buy every wearable version of this logo (t-shirts, belt buckles, necklaces, scarves, hats.....), one out of five has it tattooed, and in a time of low ticket sale tours, they buy up all the tickets way in advance to our arrival. Now that is Magic. It has been amazing to be apart of this and witness this new emerging subculture come together. Thank you to those new ears we have entered along the way, and it has been great to see the familiar faces at the shows again.

Our year of touring is coming to an end, and I look forward to begin work on my next album this winter......a time of rest is coming, so this H.I.M. tour is the last blow out for awhile!!!!

Live Life to its Fullest, and I will too.

England

2004-10-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

This is the first time I have had a chance to write since the whirlwind end of the Curiosa tour that brought us straight into this European festival run. So here's what has happened:

Curiosa was very hard to leave, we had grown so close to the music, the people and the amazing opportunity to play in front of like minded people in the U.S.A. but we had fun obligations in Europe.

It began in Belgium at the Pukklepop. Festival. It was a great big festival with a fun diverse line up; the Darkness, the Streets, Chemical Brothers, and us on the big stage and then a great line up in the tent with; Mondo Generator, Mark Lanegan (what a voice!) and Greg Dulli. It was a great way to start it off out here.

The next day was Holland! I love Holland because of how liberal they are. You can feel it even in their attitude towards music, really open minded and enthusiastic. I have had great time on all my tours to Holland this year; they have been extremely supportive of this music. Our show at the Holland Lowlands festival was really great!!!! The crowd response (around 12,000 of them!!!) was amazing. Singing along and made us feel so welcome.

Next stop Austria!!! Another German speaking country who think Auf der Maur is a stage name, It actually means On the Wall in German, and it is only a family name in Switzerland, so in the other parts of Europe they just think it is a silly band name! Nonetheless the Austrians were extremely into the music. We had only been through once this year, opening up for Perfect Circle before the album was even released, so it was amazing to see the evolution since February. It was a fun rainy festival and I got to see great sets by the Distillers, Franz Ferdinand, Supergrass, the silliest band around the Bloodhound gang (Steve and I had tons of laughs with those Philly boys!) and Urge Overkill (that I hadnÍt seen play since 1994!).

Then off we go to the Kerrang!!! Awards! where I presented the award for best British live band to THE DARKNESS. Had I not seen them a few days earlier in Austria I wouldn't be able to vouch for their abilities, but I must say it is true; these guys are great entertainers in the spirit of Benny Hill (great British comedy TV show from the '70s about a silly pervert man,). And they are amazing guitar players! So the night was quite silly. There were tons of bands being awarded - Greenday, MC5, Ash, Muse, L.A. heroes Velvet Revolver (winning for best new band, go figure...) and much more. England is the most enthusiastic and music obsessed country - As they should be! Just look at the history of modern music from Britain; it starts with the Beatles and The Stones, then to Zeppelin and Sabbath, then the Sex Pistols and all TRUE punk, then my faves The Cure and The Smiths, then that brings us into the last decade or so were weÍve got the Stone Roses to Radiohead. I am always in awe and aware of that context of music when in England. They have seen everything! That is why I am so excited that the response to my music has been so great there! The support I have felt there has been incredible!

This brings us to the READING AND LEEDS FESTIVAL!!!!!!!!

VOTING REMINDER!!TUESDAY IS OUR DAY TO PARTICIPATE!!!

2004-10-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

I am voting via absentee ballot, it is easy! This may be the most important election of our lifetime. The result affects everyone! The whole world is watching. We are in this together. Please DO NOT forget to vote. As you know, your vote does count - and voting is your opportunity to take action. Protect your future by choosing the better option for you and your views.

The last U.S. election in 2000 was a really crucial one, and I made sure to vote (even though I was on tour in Europe! You can vote from abroad! No excuses!). What frustrated me was a lot of my friends (nice AND smart friends) did not vote last time around out of lazyness or worse, a feeling that it wouldn't make a difference (I think things would be very different right now had a Democrat stayed in power). We don't want that to happen again - we can't afford to lose the votes of smart individuals! Please take the opportunity to choose the person and party who best represent you and vote. I know none of the candidates are perfect, but some of them truly are terrible, and we must, at the very least, protect ourselves from them!!

Cross your fingers and vote, hoping for the best!

Greetings from The Maritimes, Canada.

2004-10-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

We are 2 weeks into our first full on canadian tour. It has been really relaxing! Funny for a rock tour to be relaxing, but it has been. Everyone involved on the tour from the bands to crew are all really nice and relaxed. I have had time to catch up on sleep, peace of mind AND the Canadain music world in general. You see, although i am a Canadian musician, i have only been in U.S. based bands (with the exception of Tinker, but that was only in Montreal, and for only a year), so i have never really participated in the music scene up here. Now is my time, and i am introducing myself and my sounds to thousands of lovely Canadians!

Thank you to everyone who has come out to the shows, and listened.By the way, have you noticed all the amazing music coming out of Canada lately??

Death from Above 1979, The Stills, Uncut, Feist, Peaches just to name a few! Discover the North! I am and it is great! We are in the very east of Canada right now, and it is legendary for its beauty and hospitality. So far so good, tomorrow i suspect will be one of the highlights, we fly to Newfoundland, an isolated island in the far east and north. Once was a part of Scotland, so i hear it's as gorgeous. We are playing a street festival, their version of Mardi Gras.....but in the cold ! It is supposed to snow! I have never played in those types of conditions, but it is bound to be a fun adventure.

The bands we are touring with are both long time established Canadian acts; Matthew Good, and Limblifter. So i am getting lots of good stories of the Canadian road. Thank you to my hosts of this tour, and hello to the participaters!

I am trying to get the photo side of this tour diary up and running, but Steve and I have run into tech problems....so we gotta get Kim to the rescue. Hopefully photos coming soon!

Thanks for checking in, I hope the back to school, sentimental season is treating you well.